A Religious Song [mono version]

from by Barthollomew Presby and The Ensemble

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lyrics

I woke up like any other day; snoozed my alarm clock five times before i got up on my way out of bed, up and Adam out of bed.

Damn... let's try that again.

I woke up like any other day; snoozed my alarm clock five times before I got up on my way out of bed. On my way out of bed
Then I poured my cereal. My sweet, sweet cereal. If I knew it were my last bowl i probably would have poured more.

Still i said "oh Jesus Christ i thank you for this life and all the other ones you let me live. Jesus Christ i thank you for this life and all the other ones you let me live."

then i heard a knock on my door. and so I answered my door. there was a girl there. She said she had some questions for me if only she could implore me. but i said i had no time i had to go commit a crime or something. but she didn't buy my story. I could tell cause she looked really angry. oh yeah.

and i said "oh Jesus Christ what happened to this life and all the other lives you let me live. Jesus Christ i thank you for this life and all the other lies you let me live."

Then she blew my mind. Quite literally. BOOM. now there's dirt on the floor. And blood on the ceiling. then i floated to the sky. I saw my body hit the ground and i knew i died. then she walked into my house, but i couldn't tell you what 'cause i floated into a cloud.

oh yeah and i said "oh Jesus Christ what happened to this life and all the other ones you let me live. Jesus Christ i thank you for this life and all the other ones you let me live."

and so i got to heaven. asked God "what the hell just happened?'
he said "I don't even know, son, why don't you go ask Buddha?"
and so i went to ask Buddha. i asked him the same question.
he said "you broke to many things and, boy, that's karma. but before you go back to earth, let's listen to Nirvana."

(then Buddha grabbed a record called nevermind off his shelf and started playing "come as you are". but before we really could get into it-)

I flew back to earth as a beautiful eagle. I flew across the earth and defeated some evil. and i flew through Minneapolis. And ran into a big glass building. and was picked up by a dog. was picked up by a little beagle. and was carried through the streets. my majestic eagle.

and i said "oh Jesus Christ what happened to that life and all the other ones you let me live for that matter. oh Jesus Christ what the fuck happened to that life I know i know i know i know i know. yeah.

And so wen i got back to heaven Jesus was there and he was sorta laughing.
he said, "what happened this time?"
i said "oh, you wouldn't believe me if i told you."
and he said, "ah, shoot, man. shoot."
and i said "Karma's not just any dog. It's specifically a beagle."
and he said "karma's not just any dog? It's specifically a Beagle?"
and the Jesus and i laughed.

credits

from The Mono Sessions - I, released May 11, 2017

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Barthollomew Presby and The Ensemble Minneapolis, Minnesota

Barthollomew Presby and The Ensemble are a one man freak-folk band from the blue moon back room. They enjoy, among other things, drawing, telling tales, singing stories, and meeting intriguing people on the street.

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